Motifs of Life: A 2015 Reflection

I fail at fulfilling New Year’s Resolutions, like majority of people. The hope of a new year pushes us to make goals and carry them out, but for some reason, we end up losing sight of those goals after barely 2-3 weeks into the year. They’re inconstant and inconsistent with the bigger scope of our lives.

There are things in our lives, however, that remain constant. The constant motifs of life, as I like to call them (because English major). They’re not things we consciously seek out; rather, they are the pieces of ourselves that make up who we are, that never fail to leave us, no matter how many times we try to leave them.

Looking back on this year, and the years before, I feel that a common motif in my life is flight. It’s kind of funny because I joined a dance team called “Take Off” earlier this year and I wrote and directed a short film called “Jet Lag” last year. Seems only fitting, right?

But actually, flight resonates with me on many different levels. It suggests wanderlust, a desire to travel, which is something I love and aspire to do in the future. It suggests escape, something that happened once I graduated from high school, and happened again when I started college. It suggests loneliness, because many times I had to flee from places that made me feel alone, only to realize that I had to comfort myself with my own loneliness in order to feel better.

Flight has appeared many times this year, even though I didn’t physically get on a plane. I had to mentally escape from the intense amounts of stress I felt over the summer and Fall quarter. I had to fly out of my comfort zone when it came to performing on stage, whether it was as a dancer, a singer, or an actor. I flew away from problems with broken wings, but I always returned with better strength and motivation.

Now here I am, waiting for the 2016 to come, a year where I’m expected to graduate in the Spring and fly off into the world of employment and job hunting all while still figuring out what it is I’m supposed to be doing with this life God has given me.

What does it all mean, these motifs in our lives? To be honest, I’m not so sure. But if this motif occurred last year and the years before that, and reappeared this year, I’m pretty sure that it will pop up sometime next year. It's inevitable. And I can’t wait to see how this motif will develop and branch out into other motifs next year and years to come.

I don’t believe in New Year resolutions. But I believe that the New Year is the perfect opportunity to reflect on not just this year, but in past years. I don’t believe in setting goals for just this one time of the year, I believe in setting goals year round. I don’t believe in putting efforts to improve myself once the New Year kicks in, I believe in trying to improve myself constantly, every day. And with the acknowledgment of this common motif in my life, I hope to use it to my own advantage and make the most out of it for next year.

Happy New Year everyone!