Productive Procrastination #2

The State of the World Hits Close to Home

• "My city has become a hashtag."
• "On days like today, I do not care about your ideology...I don't want my stomach in knots every time my fiancé takes the subway to work. I don't want people I love to die."

Tips and Tricks on Finals

• The all-nighter. It’s kind of a rite of passage for college students
• Listening to music scores gets me in the study mode (will open to Spotify)

And also...some destressing

• Puppies learning things for the first time
• This puppyhood video will make you squeal from the cuteness.
• Because Samahang Modern won the Social Media contest and they're shaking their tailfeathers at the Bridge Dance Competition tonight...and because dance is pretty much life.

Productive Procrastination #1

This is San Bernardino, my hometown.

In my attempt to starting posting more regularly, here's a compilation of links and videos from the internet I've been drawn to this past week. Productively procrastinate at your leisure, friends! :)

Links To Articles That Have Caught My Eye This Week

• "I want to feel whole. I want to be my own rock, my own anchor, my own soulmate."
• "There are people in San Bernardino who work tirelessly to resurrect the city for the next generations."
• "On Friday night you stole the life of an exceptional being, the love of my life, the mother of my son, but you won't have my hatred."
• 5 things to get you on the road to success

Videos That Have Touched My Soul In Some Way

• An Immigrant Story that many people of color can understand
• Us the Duo can make harmony angel babies with their voices
• Justin Bieber's "Love Yourself" complemented with dancing from Keone and Mari Madrid? Yes please.
• Also yes Justin Bieber, "Life Is [Definitely] Worth Living" thanks to this beautiful dance music video.

Count Your Blessings

PC: Julian Khaymovich

Another Thanksgiving has passed and a new holiday season is beginning. This Fall quarter has been one of my most stressful academic quarters, but in the midst of everything, I'm very happy and blessed to have the capability and the capacity to handle all these things that life has thrown at me.

It seems only fitting that I use this Thanksgiving break to reflect on things that are occurring in my life now, and the things that have been done in the past to get me where I am today.

I feel like I try so hard to not let my past get to me, but sometimes it slips through the cracks and decides to nestle up in the corners of my present mind, waiting for me to pet it, embrace it, be conscious of it. Sometimes I do, and it leaves me feeling scared of what is going to happen in the future, let alone my present. I think that fear is understandable though. I mean, next year, I will be graduating in the Spring and experiencing the wonders--and terrors--of post-grad life. And while the idea of finally leaving the education system for a while thrills me, it also haunts me at the same time. I don't want my past self to be part of something so important to me as my future.

Maybe my tendency to pay keen attention to my past sometimes is a result of failing to count my blessings. So I'm grateful that we have a day specifically made for giving thanks to the people and to the wonderful things we have in our lives today, and of course, allowing us to count our blessings.

In a nutshell, I'm blessed to have a loving family. I'm blessed with supportive friends that are down to hang out and have adventures. I'm blessed with people who still want to stay in my life, and with people that have had to leave my life, but have still left a positive mark on me regardless. I'm blessed to be going to a top ranking university in one of the most culturally rich and beautiful cities in the country.

It's these blessings that allow me to keep moving forward with life, despite the struggles and the stress.

Hope everyone is enjoying their Thanksgiving holiday breaks! Keep pushing through!

Lighten the Burden of Living

Believe in your abilities and skills, but understand that you can't do everything all at once.

Understand that you should always challenge yourself, but don't push yourself to the point where your biggest challenge becomes trying to breathe.

Push yourself to accomplish all the important things in your life, but know that the most important things take not only dedication, but also time and patience.

When you're drowning, when you're feeling overwhelmed, when you're feeling lost in the stress and the work, let it all out. Cry by yourself, scream at the skies, bang your fists to the walls of your limitations. Then Breathe. And Re-evaluate.

We all like to think that that the sky is the limit, that we can do everything we want as long as we put our minds to it. But we only have two feet, two hands, one head, one heart. We are only designed to carry so much. The heavier the weight of the work you carry, the harder it is to find time to care for yourself.

We must take care of the only two feet, two hands, one head, and one heart that we have.

There is a time and place for everything. Opportunities are in abundance, you just have to believe that you will take it when you feel that the time is right. Sometimes you have to leave behind some things that are important in order to lighten the burden of living. And that is completely fine.

I write this because I had to leave behind something I thought I needed to do at this point in time. But I realized that forcing myself to keep it in my life was only making me neglect my two feet, two hands, one head, and one heart. I needed to re-evaluate the things I was doing, and remind myself that the important things in life will come in due time.

When we lighten the burden of living, we are able to live a better and healthier life. So please, my readers, do not keep forcing yourself to carry that burden by yourself. Let things go, and let yourself live. Everything will be okay.

What I Learned This Summer

1. Sometimes you have to stray away from the things you love to realize how much you actually appreciate them.


2. Sometimes you have to try new things to realize just how much you dislike them.


3. Remember to take time to care for yourself before you care for others.


4. Offering your hand to help doesn’t always guarantee that someone will take it. You can only help people who want it or seek it.


5. You can’t please everyone.


6. People that care the most will make time for you.


7. Being patient, kind, and genuine goes a long way.


8. Most people need more time to warm up to someone. So it's okay when someone is distant towards you the first time around.


9. Everyone has had a diverse set of experiences and struggles they’ve faced. Learn through them, acknowledge them, and appreciate them.


10. It’s okay to be negative, to stay in bed until 3PM, to cry yourself to sleep. Just as long as you know there are people out there who are willing to listen and support you, and have the strength to get back up and see the brighter side again.


11. Sometimes you just have to roll with the punches, and whatever happens happens.


12. Opening up is scary, but when you do, it’s a beautiful and rewarding thing.


13. If you don’t put in the effort for life's opportunities, then none of them will feel like they were worth your time.


14. Appreciate growth, even if it involves pain, stress, and sadness.

The Road to Growth

My journey as a third year in college ended about a week ago. And despite all the stress and worries that came with being a super involved college student that still wanted to keep up with the rigor of academics, I couldn’t be more proud and happy with the way things turned out this year.

I can’t lie, college has been hard for me. For two years, I didn’t feel that sense of belonging or community that other people seemed to immediately get once they started college. I didn't have that substantial support system to encourage me or guide me. I became too familiar with loneliness and isolation, and no matter how many times I tried to break out of those feelings, I always came back to self loathing and pity. I always asked myself, "Why couldn’t I make close friends? Why wasn’t I doing so well in my classes?" These questions only made me feel like I was just a number amongst everyone else at UCLA. I was lost, and stunted. For two years, those inhibitions prevented me from understanding the meaning behind growth and self-love.

So for my third year, I set out to figure it out on my own.

I've learned a lot, mostly from doing things that I didn’t expect myself to do, and exposing myself to different things on a whim. Here's a glimpse at my road to growth this year:

I moved into an apartment for the first time. I learned that living with semi-strangers is actually quite refreshing. And the view still ends up looking great.

I filmed a short film within one week. Although there was so much stress, and in the end, a bit of disappointment, I learned that I love to tell stories, especially through the medium of film.

I was introduced to a beautiful mentorship pack...

And met my incredible twin, who has been by my side since the day we met. I never knew what mentorship meant until I became involved, and I'm so blessed to have gotten the opportunity to know more about it this year.

I tried out a hip-hop dance team for the first time. I always wanted to learn how to dance, but was always scared and felt incompetent. But this year, I not only learned how to hip-hop dance, I also learned how to be confident in the energy I bring on stage on Team Take Off.

PC: Colin Hwang

I ran a 10K. I learned that I can still keep pushing my limits, all I have to do is take the first step. And the next. And the next. And eventually you'll make it through.

I got promoted at my job. I learned that sometimes, your hard work may not be recognized as good work, but at least you still learned the value of hard work and pride of knowing you gave it your all. And in the end, it'll all be worth it.

I auditioned for a Pilipino Cultural Night...
And performed as one of the main roles in front of nearly 2,000 people in Royce Hall. I was reminded once again that stories have the power to resonate with people on different levels, and can even have the power to change lives. Like it did for me.

PC: Cresencio Tano

Along the way I've met so many other people, most of who became more than just a support system: they became my second family.

This year, everything I did brought a new lesson. Most importantly I know now that it's never too late to start growing and to begin the process of loving yourself. It’s never too late to try new things, even if it means doing it alone. I learned to value my independence, my body, my talents, and intelligence. I learned that I am capable of being loved, but it’s just as important to love myself first.

I’m just incredibly blessed to have finally found spaces where I have found a family. I’m happy and proud at myself for escaping that place of self loathing and pity and being able to find confidence in myself and be proud of what I can accomplish. It’s been a long and difficult journey, but I can finally say that I’m happy with the growth I’ve accomplished, and I can’t wait to continue on this road to growth as I take on my fourth and final year as an undergraduate.

Life's too short to even care at all.

I apologize for my lack of updates. The end of the quarter is coming around the corner, and I'm more than excited to start becoming active again! Here's a blog I wrote last month that I was hesitant to post, but since I have been AWOL, I will post it regardless. More posts will be coming soon! Stay strong friends! Enjoy life while it lasts!

May 4, 2015

We constantly hear this all the time: Life is short. Sometimes we don’t really let this sink in until it smacks us in the face when we least expect it.

On April 11th, I ran my first 10K. And while it was an exhilarating experience, it was also exhausting, and all I wanted was to eat whatever I wanted. So afterwards, I neglected my body. My body consumed unhealthy foods and unhealthy thoughts. Soon I began feeling tired and unmotivated all the time. I stopped caring about things that used to matter so much to me, and started putting too much negative thought into things that weren’t even worth my time. I waved it off as midterm stress, and altogether stopped caring for myself. As the saying goes, “Life’s too short to even care at all.”

Then my cousin passed away. He was 27 years old, and was one of the most jubilant people that I knew. Someone who still had so much energy to use in his life. It completely shocked me.

And it served as a wake up call.

Yes, life is short. And sometimes, it's hard to figure out what’s worth your time when it feels like time is running out. People pass when you least expect it, and you don’t realize it, but it can happen to any one of us.

But instead of looking at life as if it’s too short to care about anything, we should stop caring that life itself is short. We need to stop caring that life can pass before our very eyes, because that’s not going to change anything. What we can change is our mindsets, our lifestyles, our thoughts. What we can change are the things that make up our lives.